Making money requires assigning worth. How do I monetize when I do not allow myself to assign value to what I have to offer? Thus, my current assignment is to ask myself, “If I allowed myself to have worth, what would that look like?” And then to sit back and pay attention to all the voices in my head as the committee up there discusses the question. (Do NOT show fear at their volume…) I can’t quite get to the ‘worth’ without having a panic attack, but I can flirt around the edges of the contribution topic.

To say I want to make money writing is not accurate. I don’t care if I make money writing because I love writing. If I woke up tomorrow and the entire world aside from me, a self-replicating and low-maintenance garden filled with heirloom, fresh, organic produce, a coconut tree, and avocado tree, a few chickens, and the frozen section of the nearby WINCO filled with HQ protein had been vaporized, I would still write. I would eventually miss cheese.

To say I want to make money building teams who would work together to manifest the establishment-defying schemes in my head by redefining key elements which need to be redefined (OUR ENTIRE EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM, for example) is not accurate. If I found myself in the above scenario, without even putting intention behind it, I would be figuring out the strengths and weaknesses of our ragtag team, discerning their motivations, and creating a plan working toward a sustainable and productive reality for all of us. The DNA of this plan assumes we do this in a way that we get to maximize our strengths and collaboratively solve our collective weaknesses. Naturally, I would be responsible for communications and systems. I wouldn’t require payment; it’s just how I would organically contribute to the whole.

To say I want to get paid for talking to people, making meaningful connections with their stories and the inner fears and desires that we all share… and for building communities of friends who support, protect, and bring out the unique value in each other is not accurate. This is simply the manner in which I approach life and people.

Before you start etching a plaque dedicated to my humanitarian principles, understand that it is my allegiance to ideas, systems and the ‘oh, goody, we have a puzzle to solve’ challenges that motivates me more than the actual people involved.

I might not even like them yet, but we need a place where we can be safe and learn to respect each other. The relationships can come later.

That’s what I’ve got so far.